Today Jonas asked me to go to the gym with him. I don’t enjoy the gym, for the most part, but I enjoy him, so I went. We have very different fitness goals, he wants to make gains, I want to fit into my jeans. This means that he’s going to be on the big machines while I’m doing Bosu Ball exercises on the mat.
My anxiety kicked in and I became worried that he was upset at me about something. He, in turn, was worried I was upset with him. I kept asking if he was upset until I realized that he thought I wanted to do everything together. He needed reassurance that we could do our own things.
I let him know that I’m fine in my little Bosu corner and that I was having anxiety about his feelings.
My conscious partner called out our mutual fears. He said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were scared too.”
We were sweating at the gym being scared. But this man was able to step outside of himself and see the bigger picture. We talked a lot today about fears and how they lead to our anxieties. We talked about being on the same side and how our fear pulls us away from remembering that.
These moments can be just moments, but if we keep the fears inside, keep them quiet, they will fester. Fears grow into stuck energy that will create wedges in our relationships.
We all have a lot of complexities that we bring to relationships from our past. Through constant and conscious communication, we can navigate the moments that make us feel a little lost.
I sleep tonight with gratitude in my heart for a man who sees himself, sees me, and sees us.
Blessings to all,
~ B
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